Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
