scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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