i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
