At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
