But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
