yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
