Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize