Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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