i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
