I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
my god I love twenty year old dicks
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
