no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
