I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
