Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
