my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Randomize
