She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize
