I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize