are you still at the devil's house?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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