I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
