OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
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