I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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