i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
