Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
