I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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