All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
