your thong is hanging out like whoa
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
