honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
