who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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