WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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