Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
