Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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