I don't usually arrange sex via text message
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Can you repeat that, but with context?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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