i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
