I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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