that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize