a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
