Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
