get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
