you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
