so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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