plz talk dirty to me
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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