Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
