I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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