your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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