stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
