question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
