Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
