Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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