if you like me you must not know who I am
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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