I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
how does that bad decision feel?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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