now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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