thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
