dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Of course I have a pirate flag
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
