He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
