Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
