I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
