i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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