Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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