Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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